Category Archives: Life. Love. Laughs.

Canada, Culture, Life. Love. Laughs., Stories, Travel, Work. Life. Money.

Maple Leaf Madness

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Hallo from Canada!

[1] I’m pre-sick. You know that feeling where your head is fuzzy, feels like a 50 lb bowling ball, kind of head-achey and all you want to do is lean your head against a cool pane of glass and sleep? yeah, that is how I feel.

[2] On the way to Montreal I sat in front of a guy who, no lie, was either drunk or coming down off of something. He kept moving around, changing seats, coughing & sneezing and as we neared the end of the trip he started spouting profanities. Not to anyone in particular, but just in general. In the end I ended up touching him, to wake him up and let him know we’d arrived. Don’t worry, the only thing I could bring myself to touch was his shoe.

[3] At the Canadian border:

Immigration/Border Guy (IBG): You sure do pack light lady.

Me: I try, makes the travel more fun.

IBG: (inspecting my passport) When was the last time you were in Canada?

Me: Uh, I’m kind of ashamed but I’ve been about everywhere except Canada

IBG: (poking through the stamps in my passport) Yeah, I can see that…

[4] I love the Hotel Intercontinental so much that I want to take it out behind a middle school and get it pregnant* I thought the one in Montreal was nice, but the one in Toronto…class-ay! I also got a free upgrade to the executive level wherein I strolled around and got my free drink, hoity-toity finger sandwiches and some hot tea for my anti-pre-sick campaign. Then I had to go to work, because this afro ain’t gonna oil itself!

[5] When I left Montreal to head to Toronto…it was snowing. God help me, I don’t know if I’m going to make it. I haven’t spent a winter in the US in TWO YEARS!! Now I remember WHY!

[6] In response to all the frenchy-frenchness of Canada I have adopted an almost sociopathic southern drawl, insisting upon replying to the “Bonjour Madame!” with “Howdy, Howdy!” Yes, yes I am that brand of ridiculous. 

*30 Rock reference

Culture, Ear Holes (music), Eye Holes (books/film), Family & Friends, Fitness Files, Funchilde - isms, Laughs, Life. Love. Laughs., People, Photos, Pie Hole (Food), Travel, Work. Life. Money.

Not Drunktastic

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Sorry I’ve been off the grid the last few days. Work is getting busier by the week including new trips on the horizon (a return trip to Miami and a trip up to Toronto and Montreal). After the hustle of the last few weeks I was ready for a mini-road trip and headed down to Maryland where I met up with The Entreprenuer (TE) and The Attorney (TA). TE is a photography aficionado and TA is a “culture vulture” so we hit the Corcoran Musuem for the Annie Leibovitz exhibit: A Photographer’s Life.

The exhibit was really amazing. I loved her portraits of Jamie Foxx, Oprah, Colin Powell and a couple of shots of Serejevo and Rawanda the most. Wandering the museum with TE and TA was also a pleasure because we all felt comfortable going our own way so that we could linger where we wanted and get drawn into whatever compelled us. I loved how most of the photographs were black & white, but every now and then there’d be something in glorious color. Likewise most of the photographs were pretty large, but there were groupings of small prints that forced you to get intimate with the exhibit (wait, that didn’t come out right).  There was also an Ansel Adams exhibit in-house and that was interesting though I’m not a big fan of landscape photography.

We ended up acting a fool and having a good time which led us to drinks and bad, bad (but oooh so good) food at Gladys Knight’s Chicken and Waffles in DC and a late night, raucous showing of Tyler Perry’s new movie: Why Did I Get Married? Now if you’ve ever been to an African American film, at an African American theatre, with a packed African American audience, I don’t need to tell you what went down. Let’s just say that everybody had a good time and thought that the characters on the screen could hear their individual comments.

Sunday, TA insisted on watching Inside Washington so I mustered up the energy to hit the workout room and put in some time on the treadmill to combat the previous evening’s fried goodness and preempt the afternoon’s revelry.  TE picked us up and we headed out to Linganore Winery where we met up with The Politician (TP) for the Jazz and Wine festival. And by festival I mean hundreds of people, in camp chairs with coolers full of crackers, cheese, grapes and summer sausage. It was great to see a diverse crowd (ethnicity, age, families, LGBT, groups of friends, etc) and to relax in the sunshine on a near perfect day listening to the David Bach Consort and wondering when exactly we became our parents? Wait, we’re not our parent’s yet but these two are.

Despite the wonderful nectar available (I highly recommend the Skipjack, TE’s favorite and the Sangria, TA’s favorite) no one was “Drunktastic” at least not in our group. But there were a few others who may have been. To include the 3 women next to us who drank at least 5 bottles of wine, the old white dude who kept hitting on all the older black women, the barefoot hippie teenagers twirling and kicking up dust, and the saxonphone player who kept coming out into the crowd to check out women. I joked at one point that there was only two ways that the day could be better, and one of them actually came to fruition. And thats all I’m gonna say about that!

Life. Love. Laughs., Travel

A Traveller’s Heart

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Last night I dreamt and the conversation I was having was in spanish. It was lovely, the sensation, not so much my skills. But it flowed and the feeling and sound of the language on my ears and tongue were….amazing.

I know that I’m starting to get that “itch” to travel, I’m happy where I am right now, but I can’t help but wonder where I could be, who I could be meeting and what I could be learning if I were on the road right now. Is the sun shining in Guanajuato? What kind of classes could I take in Thailand? Can I afford an overland Africa trip?

It doesn’t help that a good friend is off in Latin America hiking Machu Pichu, then heading to the Chilean winelands. A fellow travel blogger is off to Ghana. I’ve been getting Facebook notes from Green Tortoise Travel.

I’m sure part of it is that it is starting to get chilly here in New Hampshire. The days are shorter, the nights longer and I know it is going to be a long, long time before I feel sweat on my brow from the rays of the sun.

My life now consists of a Healthy Eating cooking class that I took a couple of weeks ago, wherein I learned new and amazing things to do with Portabello mushrooms. Cultural pursuits like an evening of woodwind quintent music and artsy fartsy film festival treats. My decisions now are things like: Do I try ice hockey or intro to karate? I’m engaged on a totally different level than when I’m travelling and I like it. But there’s still that….”itch” There’s nothing like the freedom of travel.

So…I’m trying to coerce my family into a destination christmahanukwanza vacation at some resort with sunshine, golf, massages and sand. Because you can take the girl out of the vagabond lifestyle, but you can’t take the vagabond out of the girl. And yes, I realize that a resort vacation is not quite vagabonding, but you try to convince my mom to bunk up in a hostel dorm!

So, do you all have any travel plans in the near/long term? Holler at us in the comments.

Family & Friends, Funchilde - isms, Life. Love. Laughs., Lists

Amen to That

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add more wine, originally uploaded by funchilde.

[1] Thanks to everyone for the well wishes and support for my Mom and My Grams. Things are still kind of ??? but, holding steady for the moment and sometimes that’s like the best thing in the world isn’t it?

[2] Happy Belated Birthday to my most loyal Blog Reader and favorite Ex-Mother-in-Law: Ms. Darleen! In the midst of the madness I totally forgot her special day which I haven’t done in…what 10 years? I’m not going to worry about early-heimers just yet.

[3] Thanks to one of my best buds The Entreprenuer (TE) who called me on Friday afternoon and said:

TE: What are you doing?
Me: I’m at work fool! What are YOU doing?
TE: I’m gonna hop the 8pm flight up to New England, pick me up at the airport.

Fortunately, TE and I are very similar in temperament and expectations and whenever I started to plan out the day(s) she would yell “Quit Planning!” and well, everything worked out. It was just what I needed after the emotional upheaval of the previous week, all the travel of the previous weeks and the fact that there are 4 black folks up here and a familiar caramel brown face was much appreciated and needed more than I knew.

[4] FYI, Heineken Light is awesome. sort of. You can drink 3 in a row, not blow your calorie budget, your cash budget or your “cookies” –whatever that means to you–however you will also not: a) look at all cool b) get any kind of buzz and c) you WILL have to pee seventy-eleven times that night. Just thought you might want to know. 99 calories of goodness. Oh…I just found out Rolling Rock Light only has 86 calories!

[5] The Entreprenuer & I met up with Papaya (1 of the 4 other brown people in town) and her colleague McNutts for drinks and dinner, wherein we discussed: a) Best Dates b) Worst Dates c) Gay Male Identifying paraphenelia (sp?) d) My firmly held belief that anyone who doesn’t own Michael Jackson’s “Off The Wall” album is not “dateable” e) the clarification of “Back Room Racoon” –I can’t even get into that right now f) How I am determined to set Papaya up with one of my best friends aka “The Attorney” because “The Doctor” is currently in lurve with a woman he met at the Burning Man festival and g) Papaya’s firmly held belief that anyone who attends or wants to attend the Burning Man Festival is not “dateable”…..so, I may not have learned anything, but at least I only consumed 297 beer related calories. Amen to That!

Family & Friends

Parent’s Parents

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Crying, originally uploaded by funchilde.

I wanted to write something tender, poignant and thoughtful about my trip home to accompany my mother to see her mother who is in the last stages of dying from cancer. Unfortunately, I feel strangely detached, like this is someone else’s movie and I just wandered on the wrong set and I just need to back out quietly and no one will be the wiser.

 

Anything But Golf!, Funchilde - isms, Life. Love. Laughs.

All There Is

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I played golf with one of my housemates yesterday. We went out to the local practice holes (free) and walked the course, shot the breeze and enjoyed the sunshine and New England fall weather. There was no one else around and as we crested one hill, we saw a huge doe and her two fawn.

We were crazy close, so close in fact that I was wondering what I would do if she charged us. But I was nonetheless captivated by their beauty, it felt like a gift to happen upon them there. They looked at us, we stood as still as possible so as not to ruin the moment. All there is, moments like these, stretched between bills, work, heartbreak, disappointment, expectations, new directions, second chances, the first blush of love, responsibilities, maturity. Life is so amazing.

Family & Friends, Funchilde - isms, Life. Love. Laughs., Lists, People, Photos, Travel, U.S., Work. Life. Money.

Wish You Were Here

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hard rock hotel pool, originally uploaded by funchilde.

[1] Dear Hard Rock Hotel, I am enamored of your pool area. However, all of your waitstaff look like extras from a bad teen Disney movie. I am impressed with your level of open-mindedness. I’m not sure I would’ve hired the guy with the tattoos on his neck, arms and knuckles. I was however, mildly amused that his right-hand knuckles sported to word “lost” and those on his left hand “soul.” Truth in advertising never ceases to amaze me, tell “Dru” I said hi. You all do however, brew the best iced-tea ever.

[2] Dear Ford & Volvo motor company(ies), Thank you for throwing the best “Grown and Sexy” party I’ve been to ever. I thoroughly enjoyed the indoor/outdoor fabulousness of the Blue Martini lounge. Your choice of DJ was superb, a mix of old school hip hop and R&B including a “Tupac retrospective” and an “ode to Michael Jackson’s “Off The Wall” album”-brilliant.

Also, your signature martini with the flashing blue “ice-cube”…lovely, in form and function. Thanks for the free drink tickets. We tipped Tiffany VERY well, considering we ate our weight in meatballs, german chocolate cake and had a “never ending” dirty martini (damn you Nate, Tammy & B!).

[3] Dear Shaquille O’Neal & Penny Hardaway, Thank you for gracing the Blue Martini lounge with your very tall presence. I’m just as glad as you are that everyone kept their cool, noone bothered you and that VIP was stocked with food to fill your ginormous bodies. I hope that you both avoid unwanted stalkers, paternity suits, STD’s and late night phone calls from all of the ladies throwing themselves at you. But you’re probably used to that by now.
[4] Corey Bayne Wowers (name changed to protect the guilty), Thank YOU for the most hilarious quotes of the week. You easily topped last year’s gems by being both endearingly ghetto-country fabulous and street-smart. My favorites (I swear this was from an actual conversation):

“I shoot good with a shotgun!”
“I swear, dude was fishin’ out the car window while we was ridin’ down the highway.”
“My wife is country, she can cook ANYTHING.”
“I don’t do violence against women, but a man…..he fair game.”
“I had to take off my clothes, so the cops couldn’t see me. It was night time.”
”With the right seasonings, alligator taste pretty much like chicken.”

[5] Stella, I don’t even know what to say. Pure foolishness and comedy. Thanks for dinner. You owed me after sticking me with that lunch check. Who orders a “triple” cocktail? You.

[6] Dear bed, I love you. I want to take you out behind a middle school and get you pregnant*.
*30 Rock Reference

[7] Denny’s we do not love you. Fortunately your more attractive cousin, IHOP, came to our rescue. Along with Tammy’s pleading and the best.cab driver.ever. I’m not sure that there’s anything better than french toast at 3am.

[8] Akil & Siddiq, how did you manage to escape my camera lens? And Siddiq, how many martinis did you have before you took this photo?

[9] Dear Reader, yes, yes in fact I DID get some work done!

PS: Happy Birthday DAD!!

Funchilde - isms, Life. Love. Laughs., Lists, Stories, Travel, U.S., Work. Life. Money.

To Whom It May Concern

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Cabs, originally uploaded by shinya.

[1] Dear NY Taxi Cab Drivers, thanks for going on strike during Fashion Week. My 11pm ride on the 6 Train has scarred me for life. I am somewhat ashamed that I pretended to be asleep when the beggar came through the subway car asking for “anything…even a quarter.”

[1a] Dear Philly Taxi Cab Drivers, thank YOU for not going on strike until I left.

[2] Dear Douchebag in front of me on flight 1913, thanks for reclining your seat as far as you could so that I had the best view of your male pattern baldness, couldn’t reach my drink, or open my laptop. Charming.

[3] Dear Miami, please make every one of your residents re-take Driver’s Ed. I’m particularly concerned about their ability to “merge.”

[4] Dear Hampton Inn Manhattan. I love you. Thanks for the USA Today AND the Wall Street Journal. And Breakfast. I want to take you out behind a middle school and get you pregnant*.

[5] Dear Devil Toddler, aside from being the most unpleasant two year old I’ve ever met, I want to thank you for going after my glass of red wine, and flinging most of my delicious, delicious nectar on your grandmother during our flight. She was amused, I am not. You owe me $5.00.

*30 Rock reference

It looks like I’ll be adding Washington DC to that list of places I’ll be visiting this month too!

Bloggie, Funchilde - isms, Life. Love. Laughs.

The Care & Feeding of the Human Heart

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love 3, originally uploaded by funchilde.

I am safe and sound in New Hampshire, that bastion of “Live Free or Die!” attitudes, vests, birkenstocks and oil heat. I can’t believe I’ll be here for 9 months. Of course I have a ton of travel to do for a couple of clients, and possibly some fun stuff on the horizon, but for the most part, I’ll be as settled for the next while as I’ve been in almost two years. Even when I was working on the first phase of this project last year I knew that I was leaving for Semester at Sea even before I began. This time…clear blue skies as far as my mind’s eye can see.

I’ve been welcomed back like a long lost family member, I am overwhelmed at how genuine these people’s love for me seems to be. My affection for them is strong, I missed them deeply. I am happy to be back with my housemates D and J, I love walking the dog in the mornings, cooking every other night, being “the one that washes” while someone else is “the one that dries”, and all of this has got me thinking. More specifically, it has got me thinking about love.

WHAT? YOU, Funchilde? Well, erm yeah. I’m only human.

Can you list/name all the types of love in your life right now? The most intense love I have felt recently has been for my nephew, something about spending so much time together, sharing a room, seeing how my example/guidance/influence impacts his life and choices.

My love for my parents is a constant, like the steady beat of my heart, I couldn’t extract myself from it if I tried, but it is changing. We’re solidly in the “friend” zone, I enjoy their company immensely, would prefer to hang with them over anyone I know, but I also see the tides turning and have one hand on the door that will lead to me taking care of THEM. This is complicated and makes my throat itch to contemplate.

My love for my siblings is changing as well, we are all fully grown adult people. It seems that my baby brother’s wedding has altered him forever in my eyes, I now give him full adult/man credit. But it also highlights that we are on separate paths with little connecting us (we’re now in 3 different states and have been for almost two years) and I can feel the texture of my relationships with them changing, I’m no longer the dominant/eldest child/leader that they must follow, they are free to make their own choices with little to no thought about my opinion. All of this is good, but unsettling like Africa breaking off from Asia to form its own continent.

My love for my friends has matured to the status of Urban Tribe. We are housemates, companions, travel buddies, advisors and pains in the @$$. For my friends that are married (about half) who express (usually minor) envy at my freedom and lifestyle, we validate each other’s choices. I let them know that the grass isn’t greener over here, it just looks that way because they don’t have to mow it. And they do the same for me.

I have also realized how much I am maturing and feel like alot of growth is taking place right now. I am comfortable letting some relationships simmer on low on the backburner, where in the past I would have insisted upon full-on, front burner heat to address the situation. I know that not every person in my circle should receive the same “effort” and consideration, and that I can still love them to pieces and laugh it up when we’re together, without nary a thought about them when we are apart. I know that it isn’t necessary to give all you have, to have all you want.

In terms of romantic love? Today a colleague insisted that she was going to find someone “special” for me (in an effort to keep me here in NH-not because I asked!). I haven’t given up on love, in fact I’m probably second only to my brother in the incurable romantic department, but as I told her..”I don’t want anything until it’s ready and I’m ready…”  I realized that I have a couple of crushes (does anybody else enjoy having crushes? I love it), but these are on the back burner too, because the person I’m most interested in loving right now is me. Not in an arrogant way, but I am beaming inside that I’ve walked away from some potentially crazy situations in the last couple of years, but when you’ve had one bad carnival ride, you start to avoid carnivals, right?

I found out recently that someone I once loved is in a situation that may end, that things aren’t going well and that the dark clouds of a relationship on the decline hover on the horizon. Though I am long over the person/situation, I was so grateful to realize that I was sad that they might be hurting, that the pain of a relationship in distress is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I realized that I don’t care how the situation turns out (that’s not true, I’m such a putz that I actually hope they find a way to work it out), but I didn’t feel any “glee” that they might be in pain. It was one of those times when you can FEEL that you are emotionally healthy (or on the right track). Plus, one of the best things I’ve ever heard is “Resentment is like you drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” Thus, I have been blessed with the ability to move on from things/people fairly quickly (note I didn’t say easily..just quickly).

I feel like I’ve made some healthy (and tough) decisions to keep certain situations/relationships platonic. And I mean serious temptation, like…nobody would ever know, different continent, vegas like-“what happens here stays here” stuff. Stuff that would only impact me, and probably not for the better, and I’ve walked away. All I want is the wisdom to keep doing that in every area of my life, but not be closed to the possibility of “crazy about you-can’t live without you-follow you to the ends of the earth-make you waffles every sunday”….love. But mostly I am enjoying BECOMING the right person versus focusing on FINDING the right person.

I would be fine if I were never in another marriage/partnership again. The prospect of “ending up alone” doesn’t scare me like it does some other 30-somethings I know. I guess if you’ve been in a long-term relationship that doesn’t work out, you know that it is better to be single and happy than coupled and miserable, but you also know you can’t say that to anyone who hasn’t been there.

So as for the care and feeding of the human heart? My guess is: first take care of your own heart, then gauge the quality of the relationships in your life (familial, friend, collegial, etc) to determine if you are gaining the skills to help nurture someone else’s. Don’t worry about whether or not the grass is greener, determine the quality of YOUR grass. Then remember that romantic love is 90% being the right person and 10% finding the right person.

But what do I know? Help a sistah out with your thoughts on L-O-V-E.