Category Archives: Life. Love. Laughs.

Funchilde - isms, Life. Love. Laughs., Lists, People

My Philosophy (or Why I Don’t B*tch)

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This photo is a result of an internet app that lets you customize the things that are currently on your “poop list” as my Mom would say, as presented by everybody’s favorite political genius Stephen Colbert. So those things are the things that make me want to rant as of right now.

Karen over at Chookooloonks blogs about “Why I Don’t B*tch” and I have been thinking about this topic alot lately. The last several months as I moved into the reality of my dream, I received e-mail from people all over the world asking me how I did/do it, what’s my secret for living a seemingly perfect life, how do I stay so positive?, etc. I was at once flattered and alarmed. In general what you see on my blog is really how I am (all the commenters who know me in real life (irl) please feel free to confirm or contradict that), and I’ve said for years that I’m one of the happiest people that I know. And its true. Not because I have the magic bullet to a perfect life, but because a) I believe that a certain amount of your outlook is predetermined by genetics and my parents might not have passed on the “skinny” gene, but they sure did make up for it with the “optimist” gene. b) I believe even more of your outlook is pure decision. I am determined to be happy and live my life as fully as I can. c) I’ve been THROUGH some things (mother’s critical illness, divorce) and I realized that I will always be going through something(s) but as long as I’m alive and in control of my mind and body, history bodes well that I’m not the first person to experience X and that even if Y happens I’ll be okay.

Another reason I decided to join the 12 million + bloggers out here in the blogosphere is not because I felt like I had something to say that hasn’t been said before, but I hope that the WAY I say it brings a smile to your face, inspires you to pursue YOUR big dreams and gets me a couple of points with the Big Guy upstairs, so that when I slide into my grave: sideways, giggling and thoroughly exhausted from living a full life, I’ll have a shot at some wings, a halo and the chance to be a guardian angel for some poor sap who is breathing their first breath with a lifetime of joy and pain ahead of them.

I think this topic is especially appropriate in light of the 5th anniversary of 9/11. Anyone who knows me will tell you that since that day, my philosophy – which alternately drives people crazy and makes them smile at the same time is:

“If this is the worst thing that happens to me today/this month/this year (depending on the scale), then that’s alright with me!” Even in the hardest situations I find myself saying this with a smile on my face or at the least in my voice – and it changes EVERYTHING. But mostly it changes ME. So here is to you dear reader, for all that you are and all that you will be, I wish for you the sun, moon and stars on a platter, and the knowledge that if you’re going through Hell, the best thing to do is to just.keep.going.  Trouble don’t last always.

Life. Love. Laughs., Quotes

Ride It Like You Stole It*

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Take my advice, wait until spring or fall to take a motorcycle training class. Even with the adrenaline rush and velocity induced breeze, 102 degrees and a helmet, long-sleeved shirt and boots don’t mix. I took the Jump Start class in June, and got my license yesterday after the 3 day Basic Rider Course. You might wanna stay off the streets for a while.

*Instructor’s Advice during BRC

 

Family & Friends, Life. Love. Laughs.

Gladys Knight and the 3 Wise Men

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K: you know like Jesus and…uh
K: uh, Jesus and the, uh guys, the 3 dudes
K: The Pips!
Me: Jesus and the Pips?
Me: Somewhere Gladys Knight is wondering who those three old white guys are that keep following her around….

Life. Love. Laughs., Pie Hole (Food)

Roast Beast (or Not a Vegetarian)

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Cooking class last week was hilarious. It must have been the wine. I was making a main dish when one of the guys in the class offered to help me out. I knew I was in trouble when he asked if the eggs had to be cracked before he put them in the food processor. Um, yeah. But I gave him points for trying. I will not however, eat whatever he’s cooking. I made the meatloaf but my favorite dish was the white gazpacho or maybe it was the grilled london broil (above) or maybe it was the ….hell, it was all good.

Here’s another saucy shot of me in my apron and favorite UVA t-shirt (since the last strip-tease-esque shot got so much feedback). I finally received my graduation certificate, cookbook and CAP apron. Now I just need to get my bartending certificate, buy a little palapa roof beach bar on a tourist island where the locals wear as little as possible and the sunsets are magic, and I will have accomplished my goal! Anyone want to invest in this pipe dream guaranteed money-maker?

Y’all have a great weekend. I’m off to Atlanta (for the 3rd time this summer) for work (and play) so stay cool and don’t do anything that I wouldn’t do (twice).

Funchilde - isms, Life. Love. Laughs.

So Fortun(ate)

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Someone stole our family dog.
The (brand new) washer in The Dupe unit B is on the fritz.
The airconditioner in The Dupe unit B is dying.

BUT, I got the best fortune ever after chowing down on some very yummy chinese food with friends.

“You will be traveling and coming into a fortune.”

I can live with that.

Life. Love. Laughs., Quotes, Travel

Hampton, Virginia: Welcome Back

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[1] Yes, life DOES take VISA!
Diagnostic to determine that Shorty Rock (my car) cannot be fixed? $78
Installing alarms on The Duplex due to weekend break-in? $700
Still feeling like the luckiest chic on the planet? priceless.

[2] Jorge left Andrea and I in Cuernavaca one Jack Daniels drenched morning at 4am to head on to Acapulco with a bunch of random new-found friends. I didn’t cry. Mostly because he was tipsy and kept naming the 3 frogs on my t-shirt after the three of us in a hiccup-riddled state of inebriation. Andrea and I caught a bus back to El DF (Mexico City) where we had to split up and head to different bus terminals to get to our respective destinations (Ecuador for her, Guanajuato for me). We both cried as we hailed separate cabs at the station, clutching hands and starting sentences we couldn’t finish. Finally she just got in her cab and that was it. I’ve since heard from both of them and they are well. No longer the stars of this here blog and the center of my international social life, but no less missed.

[3] I was startled to find that I was both excited to get home to the states and blue to be leaving the life I’d been living the last 3 months. Even after being back for a month (I got back in early June) I am still equally excited about being home and anxious to get back to Latin America. Though I’m enjoying focusing on some of my non-travel related goals, I am also plotting my return to Mexico (October depending on the free-lance contract situation). I am also realizing that though I dubbed this my “one year off”, that I’m falling in lurve with the lifestyle itself and one year won’t be nearly enough.

[4] Dream Big. If there is something you dream of doing, something so crazy you don’t even say it out loud but you often think “If I could do X….” then get started, life waits for no (wo)man and you deserve your shot at bliss as much as anyone. Good luck, God Speed and Stay Tuned. It really wouldn’t have been the same without you.

“I’d rather die on my feet than live a lifetime on my knees.”
– Emiliano Zapata

Life. Love. Laughs., Mexico, Travel

Oaxaca Mexico: We’re Still Talking About This?

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Okay, I know I’m like the worst blogger ever. I despise it when my favorite bloggers go on hiatus and my continuous *click*refresh* yields nothing new. BUT I’ve been on the move.

Oaxaca was so much fun that I have been dragging this story out for like 3 weeks now I think. Just to put us all out of our misery:

We danced, danced and danced some more (well, Paul did anyway)
We bought drinks until our pockets held only lint
We stayed out until it was so late that we debated going to breakfast
We drank the prettiest cappucino ever made
I talked literature, music and travel with The Crush under the stars
The impossible curls, smile and baby brown eyes of The Crush
We watched bootleg movies
Visited The Crush at work
We drank the best.hot.chocolate.ever on a beautiful rainy evening
We watched locals dance in the zocalo at midnight
We sang more karaoke
We took Salsa lessons ($5.50US for 1.5hrs-video here of Andrea)
Received roses (no, these are not from the crush)
Danced with The Crush and The Crew
Drank the worm
Fell in lurve with the Moon
Laughed, laughed and laughed some more
Caught a cold

And…we left for Cuernavaca, holding out hope that The Crush could join us, but college boys gotta work hard for the money.

Family & Friends, Life. Love. Laughs.

Pop Rocks…(A shout out pt. ii)

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In honor of Father’s Day, the Top 5 Reasons my Pop Rocks!

[5] He’s the original “Funchilde.” He created Funchilde, Inc. back in the early 70’s with a bunch of friends so that they could throw parties and play music and make a little money while they were having a good time. I count this as the source of my passion for music as well as the ignition for my entreprenuerial flame. The first concert I ever went to was with him. He took me and my sister and brother to see the SOS Band in Germany and I couldn’t have been more than 8 years old. My Dad has more music, in more formats than anyone I know. From Reel-to-Reel to his iPod, that dude can hook you up with everything from Hall and Oates to Destiny’s Child.

[5a] My parents have always been social people. I definitely get my sense of humor, outgoing personality and positive outlook from my Dad. He (and Mom) took us EVERYWHERE with them. To this day, their love of travel is a part of me. He’s been from Saudi Arabia to Greece and knows no stranger. They taught us how to work hard and play hard, how to party hard without getting out of control, and to know when to cut our losses with friends/foes and lovers. Dad encouraged us to try new foods and experience new places and people and to treat everyone equal. That as long as we were given respect we should show it. That warmth of spirit is why he’s like a black Dr. Phil. People tell that dude EVERYTHING!

[4] He’s the black Emeril Lagasse. All of us can cook. You already know that cooking classes are one of my passions. My Mom, sister and brother can all cook the staples like nobody’s business. From fried chicken to potato salad, those three can burn. My nephew makes a mean 5 cheese and macaroni, and has won an award for his “Eclair Cake.” Dad is the risk taker in the kitchen. We all love watching the cooking channel and we forgive him his Rachel Ray crush (WTF?) because he does most of the cooking. From crab stuffed flounder to his clove spiced holiday ham, that dude can put his foot in it! AND he’s our favorite bartender! I love coming home to visit and the nights we sit up drinking his apple martinis or long island iced teas, debating some issue and calling each other names while he plays DJ, fries up some fish and mixes up another batch. That dude deserves a beer.

[3] His stock portfolio is beating mine. He can pick ’em yall. I feel a little bad because he is a “tech nerd” like my brother. My mom is an envi-sci geek (cum laude, no less) and I’m the business guru. But he has picked some winners that are making my stock portfolio look like a crackhead’s checkbook. His strategy: he buys stock in the products he likes/uses. That dude uses his noggin.

[2] I still think he’s a Superhero. When I was little I thought my Dad was the biggest, strongest guy in the world. When the movie Jaws came out, I was probably 6 years old or so and they took me to see it. Afterwards my mom asked me how big the shark in the movie was. I looked around for something to illustrate the ginormity of the shark and said wild-eyed and using my hands to make my point: “it was as big as Dad’s LEG!” I guess its all about perspective. That dude is a man’s man.

[2a] My Dad is the kind of guy that will get down to a kid’s level and PLAY. I still love the fact that my Dad bought me hot wheels cars and racetracks, cap guns and a 3 foot long Wonder Woman puzzle. He didn’t let my gender dictate my fun. I ran, played t-ball, soccer and climbed trees, and built a CO2 car. My Dad is still pretty intimidating at 6’4 and I still think he can fix anything from my car to my computer. That dude is my #1 go-to guy.

[1] He loves my Mom. Yall know how I feel about HER. So, it follows that anybody that keeps that chic happy is alright with me. They are a testament that good times and bad times can be weathered together. Their marriage isn’t perfect, but it is perfect for them. They make me believe that love is possible. Not that Hollywood stuff, but the nuts and bolts, “don’t make me kill you”, “you’re the best thing that ever happened to me”, “these kids take after YOUR side of the family” kind of way. That dude is part of the glue that keeps us together.

Here’s to you Dad!

Funchilde - isms, Life. Love. Laughs., Mexico, Photos

Oaxaca Mexico: The 3 Lies of the Traveler

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Mikkel Andrea Jorge, originally uploaded by funchilde.

First, let me tell you that you all are NO help at all. Where is the “voice of reason” when you need it? That said, if I suffer any ill affects from taking your advice and dropping everything and running to Oaxaca, then I will print out your comments for the Judge, God, My Mom…whoever catches me first.

Second, I am hesitant to post the tales of ACTUAL EVENTS on this here blog because the list of people who read this though small, is rather frightening:

1. My Mother
2. My Father
3. My Ex-Mother in Law (yeah, I’m confused too)
4. 3 or more people I have dated have access to this
5. At least one colleague who consults for my biggest client
6. 2 or 3 people that I may or may not have a crush on
7. Several “God fearing” Christian friends who I need to keep praying for me

So, at this time I will only admit that I have actually uttered all 3 of the “3 Lies of the Traveler” which I realized yesterday. I first heard about these from Solbeam, then I think Erik mentioned them and most recently Megan brought up the subject. I remember learning about them for the first time in 2004 and thinking “how cute, those young people” not EVER imagining that I would become a member of the ranks of those nomadic half-truth tellers. What makes them particularly amusing is that you always mean what you are saying at the time.

oh, you want to know what the lies are?

1. I’m not drinking tonight
2. I’m leaving tomorrow
3. I love you

 

Family & Friends, Mexico, People, Travel

San Miguel de Allende Mexico: Dilemma pt. ii

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What to do, what to do? Should I skip out on my last week of spanish class, my awesome room at Casa del Tio, sacrifice the security of the internet/technology access I have/need for work? What say you internet?

E-mail #1

Hey,
i am now in Oaxaca suffering from heavy stomack
akes. Getting better as we speak. Oaxaca is a brilliant place, pictoresk and tranquille…you should definetly come here one time… take care for now..

El Magnus 

E-mail #2

Hola Chica
 
como estas? todo bien? y donde estas? todavia en d.f.??
 
yesterday i meet jorge here in puebla. chiiiido!!! tomorrow we go together to oaxaca. we miss you and we want that you come to oaxaca too… comon chica!!! what you say??
 
besos,

andrea

E-mail #3

dia i am now in oaxaca. andrea is here also.this is another amazing place! were staying at a place called casa de arnele. very nice with a great terrace view,much like (but not quite as beautiful)as guanajuatos. dia i really think you should head this way,its got vibe. apparently oaxaca is known for cuisine, international art as well as international music! in fact my first stroll around the place;what did i see? a friggen reggae band (from the island no doubt!) JAMMIN right in front of a cathedral! old people ,young, all jammin to da jam man!it was great. im thinking a week here for me,then im headin for the beach. gotta jam, please tell mirna i said hi!

jorge