Category Archives: Family & Friends

Bloggie, Family & Friends, Funchilde - isms, Life. Love. Laughs., Lists, Photos, Quotes

Evidence of a Life Well Lived, or Debauchery..

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Things that Actually Came Out of People’s Mouths:

  1. The first time I went to jail…
  2. Did anyone’s underwear come off?
  3. Work is like school without the chocolate milk, the playground and the nap. School pretty much rocked.
  4. New love is like a Slimfast shake, it’s probably healthier than what you had before, but you’ll probably be looking around for something that’s no good for you in a couple of hours.
  5. I love you, and I would bail you out of jail, but we can’t be discussing why we have to throw away your bloodstained shirt.
  6. All Black people receive Mary J. Blige’s cd’s as soon as a new one comes out…it’s one of the perks.
  7. I don’t want to marry her, but she doesn’t need to know that!
  8. Yeah, if you ever want to get lucky, don’t say that. In fact, silence is sexy.
  9. My idea of a perfect relationship is from 6-10. No, not people, 6-10pm. Dinner, wine, listen to a little NPR, then s/he has to go home. No rolling around in my 400 threadcount sheets.
  10. She’s crazy, and I mean crazy crazy, not the good kind of crazy!

Things that Actually Came Out of My Mouth:

What I said: It’s good to hear your voice

What I meant: I miss you

What I said: I miss you

What I meant: I wish you were here

What I said: I wish you were here

What I meant: I wish you were here right now

What I said: That sounds interesting

What I meant: That sounds terrible

What I said: I think we can make that happen

What I meant: Call me when you figure that out

What I said: You owe me $79.00

What I meant: Where’s my moolah punk?

 

Bloggie, Eye Holes (books/film), Family & Friends
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 no reservations

[1] Thanks for all of your kind words and thoughts for my family. Everyone is hanging in there. The final “home-going” service was beautiful and it was bittersweet to spend so much time with uncles, aunts and cousins that I don’t get to see often. I don’t want to go too far down this road or I’ll be hiccuping and crying, hungover off of shots of tequila, singing “Circle of Life” with fried chicken crumbs all over my sweatshirt. No, no internets you do not want to see that!

[2] So, ye old blog is officially 2 years old today. A special shout-out to my blog-mother, Erica. Who needs to um, update her blog…. Now that I’m back from hiatus and refreshed, I want to do some upgrades around these here parts and expand the scope of the blog a bit.

I’m not 100% sure what that means yet, but keep an eye out for a new look around here and if anyone knows a talented web developer that can help me out…shoot me a note. I’m deathly afraid of altering anything for fear of losing my archives. I am that brand of narcissist that actually likes to go back and read my own stuff, there I said it. Suck it!

[3] One of the most beloved gifts I received this year was Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservations. This is the book that I want to write, well, obviously he’s written this one, but something like this, that combines my minor talent for words, my sketchy photographic ability and my love for food with my absolute passion for walking around the planet asking everybody else what they’re doing.

My book will be loosely titled: With Some Hesitation: A Crazy.Black.Chick Stops by for Dinner. What do you think? Blockbuster right?!

You have to love a self-described “tall, goofy, white guy” who unabashedly drops “F” bombs and “Mother@#$@” all over the place. This ain’t your momma’s cookbook! It’s not a cookbook at all. it’s 1/4 food porn, 1/4 travel tales, 1/4 sentimental sap and 1/4 beautiful photos. I heart it so much that I want to sleep with it under my pillow.

[4] Has anyone else noticed that most everyone nowadays is anti-resolution? I am down with that. I haven’t made a resolution (for new year’s) in years. But I do have themes that have served as the catalyst for the last few years. As my dreams and goals for 2008 make themselves clear, I’ll share them here. I began by thinking, “how in the world can I top 2007?” and I realized that at 34.8 years old, I don’t have to.

So, what are your resolutions/non-resolutions? I really wanna know.

Bloggie, Family & Friends, People

Parent’s Parents, ii

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Crying, originally uploaded by funchilde.

She’s gone. Thanks for all of your prayers and kind thoughts for my Mother’s Mother. She passed yesterday as if to say that a new year held no appeal for/to her, she’d had enough, seen enough, done enough. My heart aches for my mother and her siblings.

I hope 2007 treated you well and that 2008 is the year that your dreams come true. Nobody deserves it more than you do, so be the star of your own show and the captain of your own ship. Be the center of your universe and the superhero in your story. Be the sun in your blue sky and the moon in your inky midnight. Be you…fully, wholly, unabashedly, hope-drenched, dream-tranced, blinded by optimism, choose your own adventure, love-filled….you. And get better at it every.single.day. Nobody deserves it more.

XO, 

Dia 

 

Culture, Ear Holes (music), Eye Holes (books/film), Family & Friends, Fitness Files, Funchilde - isms, Laughs, Life. Love. Laughs., People, Photos, Pie Hole (Food), Travel, Work. Life. Money.

Not Drunktastic

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Sorry I’ve been off the grid the last few days. Work is getting busier by the week including new trips on the horizon (a return trip to Miami and a trip up to Toronto and Montreal). After the hustle of the last few weeks I was ready for a mini-road trip and headed down to Maryland where I met up with The Entreprenuer (TE) and The Attorney (TA). TE is a photography aficionado and TA is a “culture vulture” so we hit the Corcoran Musuem for the Annie Leibovitz exhibit: A Photographer’s Life.

The exhibit was really amazing. I loved her portraits of Jamie Foxx, Oprah, Colin Powell and a couple of shots of Serejevo and Rawanda the most. Wandering the museum with TE and TA was also a pleasure because we all felt comfortable going our own way so that we could linger where we wanted and get drawn into whatever compelled us. I loved how most of the photographs were black & white, but every now and then there’d be something in glorious color. Likewise most of the photographs were pretty large, but there were groupings of small prints that forced you to get intimate with the exhibit (wait, that didn’t come out right).  There was also an Ansel Adams exhibit in-house and that was interesting though I’m not a big fan of landscape photography.

We ended up acting a fool and having a good time which led us to drinks and bad, bad (but oooh so good) food at Gladys Knight’s Chicken and Waffles in DC and a late night, raucous showing of Tyler Perry’s new movie: Why Did I Get Married? Now if you’ve ever been to an African American film, at an African American theatre, with a packed African American audience, I don’t need to tell you what went down. Let’s just say that everybody had a good time and thought that the characters on the screen could hear their individual comments.

Sunday, TA insisted on watching Inside Washington so I mustered up the energy to hit the workout room and put in some time on the treadmill to combat the previous evening’s fried goodness and preempt the afternoon’s revelry.  TE picked us up and we headed out to Linganore Winery where we met up with The Politician (TP) for the Jazz and Wine festival. And by festival I mean hundreds of people, in camp chairs with coolers full of crackers, cheese, grapes and summer sausage. It was great to see a diverse crowd (ethnicity, age, families, LGBT, groups of friends, etc) and to relax in the sunshine on a near perfect day listening to the David Bach Consort and wondering when exactly we became our parents? Wait, we’re not our parent’s yet but these two are.

Despite the wonderful nectar available (I highly recommend the Skipjack, TE’s favorite and the Sangria, TA’s favorite) no one was “Drunktastic” at least not in our group. But there were a few others who may have been. To include the 3 women next to us who drank at least 5 bottles of wine, the old white dude who kept hitting on all the older black women, the barefoot hippie teenagers twirling and kicking up dust, and the saxonphone player who kept coming out into the crowd to check out women. I joked at one point that there was only two ways that the day could be better, and one of them actually came to fruition. And thats all I’m gonna say about that!

Family & Friends, Funchilde - isms, Life. Love. Laughs., Lists

Amen to That

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add more wine, originally uploaded by funchilde.

[1] Thanks to everyone for the well wishes and support for my Mom and My Grams. Things are still kind of ??? but, holding steady for the moment and sometimes that’s like the best thing in the world isn’t it?

[2] Happy Belated Birthday to my most loyal Blog Reader and favorite Ex-Mother-in-Law: Ms. Darleen! In the midst of the madness I totally forgot her special day which I haven’t done in…what 10 years? I’m not going to worry about early-heimers just yet.

[3] Thanks to one of my best buds The Entreprenuer (TE) who called me on Friday afternoon and said:

TE: What are you doing?
Me: I’m at work fool! What are YOU doing?
TE: I’m gonna hop the 8pm flight up to New England, pick me up at the airport.

Fortunately, TE and I are very similar in temperament and expectations and whenever I started to plan out the day(s) she would yell “Quit Planning!” and well, everything worked out. It was just what I needed after the emotional upheaval of the previous week, all the travel of the previous weeks and the fact that there are 4 black folks up here and a familiar caramel brown face was much appreciated and needed more than I knew.

[4] FYI, Heineken Light is awesome. sort of. You can drink 3 in a row, not blow your calorie budget, your cash budget or your “cookies” –whatever that means to you–however you will also not: a) look at all cool b) get any kind of buzz and c) you WILL have to pee seventy-eleven times that night. Just thought you might want to know. 99 calories of goodness. Oh…I just found out Rolling Rock Light only has 86 calories!

[5] The Entreprenuer & I met up with Papaya (1 of the 4 other brown people in town) and her colleague McNutts for drinks and dinner, wherein we discussed: a) Best Dates b) Worst Dates c) Gay Male Identifying paraphenelia (sp?) d) My firmly held belief that anyone who doesn’t own Michael Jackson’s “Off The Wall” album is not “dateable” e) the clarification of “Back Room Racoon” –I can’t even get into that right now f) How I am determined to set Papaya up with one of my best friends aka “The Attorney” because “The Doctor” is currently in lurve with a woman he met at the Burning Man festival and g) Papaya’s firmly held belief that anyone who attends or wants to attend the Burning Man Festival is not “dateable”…..so, I may not have learned anything, but at least I only consumed 297 beer related calories. Amen to That!

Family & Friends

Parent’s Parents

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Crying, originally uploaded by funchilde.

I wanted to write something tender, poignant and thoughtful about my trip home to accompany my mother to see her mother who is in the last stages of dying from cancer. Unfortunately, I feel strangely detached, like this is someone else’s movie and I just wandered on the wrong set and I just need to back out quietly and no one will be the wiser.

 

Family & Friends, Funchilde - isms, Life. Love. Laughs., Lists, People, Photos, Travel, U.S., Work. Life. Money.

Wish You Were Here

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hard rock hotel pool, originally uploaded by funchilde.

[1] Dear Hard Rock Hotel, I am enamored of your pool area. However, all of your waitstaff look like extras from a bad teen Disney movie. I am impressed with your level of open-mindedness. I’m not sure I would’ve hired the guy with the tattoos on his neck, arms and knuckles. I was however, mildly amused that his right-hand knuckles sported to word “lost” and those on his left hand “soul.” Truth in advertising never ceases to amaze me, tell “Dru” I said hi. You all do however, brew the best iced-tea ever.

[2] Dear Ford & Volvo motor company(ies), Thank you for throwing the best “Grown and Sexy” party I’ve been to ever. I thoroughly enjoyed the indoor/outdoor fabulousness of the Blue Martini lounge. Your choice of DJ was superb, a mix of old school hip hop and R&B including a “Tupac retrospective” and an “ode to Michael Jackson’s “Off The Wall” album”-brilliant.

Also, your signature martini with the flashing blue “ice-cube”…lovely, in form and function. Thanks for the free drink tickets. We tipped Tiffany VERY well, considering we ate our weight in meatballs, german chocolate cake and had a “never ending” dirty martini (damn you Nate, Tammy & B!).

[3] Dear Shaquille O’Neal & Penny Hardaway, Thank you for gracing the Blue Martini lounge with your very tall presence. I’m just as glad as you are that everyone kept their cool, noone bothered you and that VIP was stocked with food to fill your ginormous bodies. I hope that you both avoid unwanted stalkers, paternity suits, STD’s and late night phone calls from all of the ladies throwing themselves at you. But you’re probably used to that by now.
[4] Corey Bayne Wowers (name changed to protect the guilty), Thank YOU for the most hilarious quotes of the week. You easily topped last year’s gems by being both endearingly ghetto-country fabulous and street-smart. My favorites (I swear this was from an actual conversation):

“I shoot good with a shotgun!”
“I swear, dude was fishin’ out the car window while we was ridin’ down the highway.”
“My wife is country, she can cook ANYTHING.”
“I don’t do violence against women, but a man…..he fair game.”
“I had to take off my clothes, so the cops couldn’t see me. It was night time.”
”With the right seasonings, alligator taste pretty much like chicken.”

[5] Stella, I don’t even know what to say. Pure foolishness and comedy. Thanks for dinner. You owed me after sticking me with that lunch check. Who orders a “triple” cocktail? You.

[6] Dear bed, I love you. I want to take you out behind a middle school and get you pregnant*.
*30 Rock Reference

[7] Denny’s we do not love you. Fortunately your more attractive cousin, IHOP, came to our rescue. Along with Tammy’s pleading and the best.cab driver.ever. I’m not sure that there’s anything better than french toast at 3am.

[8] Akil & Siddiq, how did you manage to escape my camera lens? And Siddiq, how many martinis did you have before you took this photo?

[9] Dear Reader, yes, yes in fact I DID get some work done!

PS: Happy Birthday DAD!!

Bloggie, Family & Friends, Funchilde - isms, Life. Love. Laughs., Stories

Highs & Low(e)s pt. II

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Movin’ on up to a Deluxe Apartment in the Sky

I coerced, conned, bribed, sweetly asked my mom and nephew to help me with the rental apartment turnaround. I promised them a comfy hotel room, several good meals and the accomplishment of a job well done cold hard cash. They were both phenomenal, my nephew primed/painted everything from 4’6 and lower, my mom is a task master organizer extraordinaire. We weeded, swept, scrubbed, painted, dusted and boy did we ache. There’s still stuff left to do, but the prospect doesn’t seem quite so hopeless. My bro is in Tampa, my sister in NC, and my Dad and I both travel so much that the only time we’ve spent together this summer is taking/picking one another up from the airport. So…to my Mom and my Nephew….I couldn’t have done it without you and the check is in the mail*

If I Was A Rich Girl

As is of course standard, anytime I am about to leave the state/country major expensive type things go wrong. My car, Wander Woman, they want $1700 to fix everything that is wrong with her, Dude, the car didn’t even cost close to that. An oil change and some wiper blades should be enough, right? right?

The duplex has sprung a leak….AGAIN, after we replaced the drywall (ourselves) in unit B last fall, the leak has returned and rendered our work all for naught. Anyone who thinks rental property is sexy…run, run like the wind unless you are a talented carpenter/plumber/heating & AC type or have goo-gobs of cash. The sad truth is that I can’t afford NOT to have a mortgage, so I will just continue to thank God/the Lawd/FSM that I have resources to do what I do. And the new carpet that is coming on Thursday? Yeah, that costs more than I paid for the car too.

More About My Nephew

I made a shrimp and (low fat) sausage scampi last night for dinner, my nephew ate a HUGE portion, then went back for seconds. When he finally consented to yield his plate to the dishwasher, I caught him LICKING the plate. I guess it was good. Tonite we’re eating off of paper plates.

*and by that I mean there really is no check, but wasn’t that Denny’s breakfast GOOD?!

Bloggie, Ear Holes (music), Eye Holes (books/film), Family & Friends, Pie Hole (Food)

Currently I

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Currently I would like to: find the perfect motorcycle at the perfect price.

Currently I am listening to: Robin Thicke and Mary J. Blige.

Currently I am reading: High Society by Ben Elton.

Currently I am craving: Mexican Food. Scratch that…GOOD Mexican Food.

Currently I’d rather be: Snuggled up in bed with someone special, drinking coffee and reading the paper.

Currently I am worried about: Getting the rental unit finished for the new tenants before I have to leave for New Hampshire.

Currently I am glad: That I stuck with it and can now proclaim that I am a juggler! 3 Balls Baby! Wait, that didn’t come out right…

Currently I am trying to figure out: The perfect balance between what I want to do and what I HAVE to do, and maintaining a sustainable pace of life so I can be healthy, happy and productive. Anyone figured this out yet?

Currently I am reflecting on: What a great weekend I had at someone else’s million dollar brownstone in DC, with an amazing kitchen that I got to test out with my famous Rasta Pasta recipe and grilled asparagus and eggplant and chicken-apple sausage…with the most comfortable bed in the world and icy-cold A/C…that I don’t have to pay the mortgage on.

What are you doing currently?